Lately, while certainty was never my strong suit,
I've taken to knowing it all.
I'll take what I can get.
There is no restriction on acquisitiveness:
I want it, I want it, I want it.
(And I want the active ingredient without the fillers.)
And, I'll tell you something,
I'm here for more than just taking up space
like my humble father did till he died.
Though unbearably shy, I want to be looked up to,
even while I live in fear of being seen.
Waking, dreaming and deep sleep are where I live.
I am alone in all of them, and, in the first two, often
insolent and in deep shit.
(In deep sleep I am not "I".)
Dying is the not-waking-up from the previous sleep.
My father waits for me there and keeps my space.
Each generation dreams the one to follow.
I have never followed anyone
but to have lived is necessarily to have left a trail.